silvertor: (Default)
[personal profile] silvertor
So this is it. Starting point. Kick off. Not the first moment of me trying to change, or the deciding moment, or even the first time I've tried to do something with my life. But accountability is worth something, or so they tell me, so maybe it's worth it to try and keep track of this stuff. Honesty. Being up front. No hiding behind the good image I've built for myself elsewhere. This is the shit that I don't want to talk about through normal channels. The fuck-ups, the breakthroughs, the pain and pleasure of trying to figure out what I want, where I want it, and why I want it there.

More importantly, trying to get me-on-the-outside to look more like me-on-the-inside.

That's not going to happen without surgery. And that's not going to happen. Not too many doctors or psychs willing to sign you up for removals without replacements, at least not without a diagnosis of gender issues (which I have, but since I don't fit into the binary, it doesn't get taken seriously), and I can't afford to pay for it all myself.

I do what I can. Maybe bit by bit, I'll get there, until some morning I can wake up and look in the mirror and not have someone-I'm-not staring back at me.

But it's late, I'm tired, and I'm hoping insomnia doesn't kick my ass again tonight like it's been doing the past week. Too much on my mind, not enough ability to put it aside before bedtime.
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
Account name:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
HTML doesn't work in the subject.


Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.


silvertor: (Default)

May 2014

4567 8910
Page generated 20/9/17 12:52

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags